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Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship, by Sherry Argov
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Do you feel like you are too nice? Sherry Argov's Why Men Love Bitches delivers a unique perspective as to why men are attracted to a strong woman who stands up for herself. With saucy detail on every page, this no-nonsense guide reveals why a strong woman is much more desirable than a "yes woman" who routinely sacrifices herself. The author provides compelling answers to the tough questions women often ask:
- Why are men so romantic in the beginning and why do they change?
- Why do men take nice girls for granted?
- Why does a man respect a woman when she stands up for herself?
- Sales Rank: #3937 in Books
- Brand: Adams Media
- Published on: 2002-10-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .72" w x 5.50" l, .71 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 255 pages
- Great product!
From Publishers Weekly
Contending that some women are "too nice," comedian and radio show host Sherry Argov has written Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship. "I'm not recommending that a woman have an abrasive disposition," Argov writes, "The woman I'm describing is kind yet strong. She doesn't give up her life, and she won't chase a man." Her sassy book is filled with scenarios and advice aimed at making women subtly stronger and self-empowered. Argov's principles, which range from the farfetched to the downright absurd, include "If you give him a feeling of power, he'll want to protect you and he'll want to give you the world" and "A little distance combined with the appearance of self-control makes him nervous that he may be losing you." The book, which has already been featured on The View and The O'Reilly Factor, should make waves with its controversial view of relationships.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
"A self-help classic." --Daily Mail
"America's top relationship guide." --The Book Tribe
One of "The 10 Most Iconic Relationship Books of the Past Ten Years." --Yahoo!
"Men don't really go for 'nice.' They go for 'interesting.'" --Chicago Sun-Times
"We're talking about having so much self-respect, Aretha Franklin would high-five you." --Los Angeles Times
"The pejorative meaning of the word 'bitch' has been reclaimed... it means a strong, feisty woman who has moxie, and knows when to use it. A bitch is... sap free." --Pursuit Magazine
"[Argov is] talking about a strong woman. Someone who knows what she's doing in life. Someone who will share the load, but who will stand her ground." --Joy Behar, Co-host of The View
"Sherry Argov shows women how to transform a casual relationship into a committed one." --The Today Show
"The Best of Culture." --Esquire
"A hot book!" --Fox News Channel
"A must-read at Sunday brunch." --New York Daily News
"Why Men Love Bitches flew off the shelves.... Men thrive with women who can set boundaries and who push back when they try to cross the line." --Cosmopolitan
"An anti-whining manifesto that encourages women who feel like doormats to develop a sense of independence." --Playboy
"Ultimately Sherry Argov's message boils down to one of confidence and self respect, which, let's face it...it's the only sane way to go. In short...stay for the sage advice." --Glo MSN
From the Author
Visit my website at sherryargov.com
Most helpful customer reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
A Reminder to Love Yourself and Understand Human Nature
By Christina
I read a book almost every week, but this is my first book review. I felt that if my review were the reason any woman (or man), who might otherwise be put off from buying this book by the Cosmo-esque title, actually went ahead and bought it and changed their relationships and lives for the better, well then the benefit (improved lives) would have vastly outweighed the cost (the 15 minutes I spent writing this that I could have spent working, eating, conversating). Ergo, my review.
First, the most important thing to recognize is that this book is not for every woman (or man). If you meet some of the following (related) criteria:
1) Your parents had a loving, respectful, stable, reasonably equal partnership or you were otherwise exposed to such partnership
2) You have high self-esteem and consider yourself secure, inside or outside of relationships
3) You are already in a successful relationship or don't tend to have much trouble in relationships
...then you've probably already internalized the essence of the book. You don't need it. At best, employing its strategies would be redundant, at worst, disingenuous.
Onto those to whom the book is intended, and who would most benefit, in addition to those who do not meet the criteria above:
1) You've gone on a few dates with the guy, and you thought things were going well, and he started to slowly fade out or suddenly disappeared.
2) You've been dating a guy for a while, but he doesn't want to commit.
3) You're in a relationship, and your boyfriend was so sweet in the beginning, and he slowly or suddenly stopped. You feel taken for granted.
It's like the clouds opened up and God slapped some common sense into me. Somewhere between my parents' divorce, my mom's emotional unavailability, The Notebook (the book AND the movie), memes about "love is hard work" and "love conquers all", in the name of finding the love I so desperately wanted and needed, I had not only forgotten about number one (myself!), but I had forgotten some very basic tenets of human nature.
In a nutshell:
1) Above all, love yourself and love your life. Fill it with people who matter. Fill it with passions and interests. Fill it with memorable experiences. Constantly seek to be challenged and learn and fail and grow.
2) When a man enters your life, don't over-invest your time or your mental real estate. Make him a part of your life, just like every other part. Don't lose your rhythm. Especially if he is not chasing after you, but EVEN IF HE IS. Human nature reminder: People are myopic - they see the fun in seeing you all the time, but not the disinterest and contempt that such continual contact will breed. You have to keep the balance. If you fail to balance his part in your life, you lose your rhythm, you lose track of what it is that fulfills you - and you start to seek it from him. You become needy.
3) If at some point, you have not followed 2), you've showed him that you need him, and it will follow that he will become complacent. He'll be less affectionate, stop taking you out, etc. etc. Human nature reminder: People are pragmatic and somewhat lazy - if they can do less or more, and still get the same result, they will do less. Always. Maybe you'll try to talk to him or start to nag him. But he's putting less effort, you're still around and you still care (because you're nagging him), he has no incentive to change. People don't listen to words, they listen to action. So if he's not treating you right, stop putting yourself in a position to be treated not right. Stop showing affection. Stop contacting him. Stop being available and accepting last-minute invites to the guys' house.
I suppose I can see how people might perceive this as "game playing" or being inauthentic. Because really, you like or love the guy, you want to hug and kiss him and offer him backrubs, even when he's not treating you right. In your head (as was in my head), if you were the perfect girlfriend, if you did everything you could, maybe he'd see it and turn himself around. So in a way, to withhold affection or to say "no, sorry, I'm busy" when you're not actually busy is inauthentic. But only at first. I promise, after that, it becomes easier. Because slowly, you are empowering yourself. You are saying that you love yourself enough to do the thing you don't want to in the moment (to say no) to gain the thing you deserve long-term (to be treated with love and respect). And then it's easy, and it's real.
14 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
Life Changer!
By Amazon Customer
Absolutely life changing! I put everything she said into use. I had men at my feet and I got a ring! Now married, and he's still head over heels about me. Love love love this book! I recommend it to everyobe
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
It's like telling you to do this
By na
Extremely negative book. I didn't get to finish. Actually the author see the relationship from the surface, rather than seeing it through why women are doing those things. It's not from a holistic perspective, but a narrow personal view. It's kind of depressing to read. It's like telling you to do this, don't do that. It's hard. You know those rules, but if you really live on them, you're not being yourself. If women having difficulties dealing with relationship, then it's more important to look into self and learn to self love. Grow from it rather than following these rules. The author is saying how the women magazines give so many bad advices on relationship. But he's doing the same thing, while he just think his opinion is "right".
Wish could return the book and get refund. Waste of money. I would really like to see something that's enpowering and positive
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